


V_File 01: Self-Preservation

by mushembra



Series: Always Room for One More [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Can you brainwash an android?, Distrust, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gavin has grown since series one and it shows, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Learning about teamwork, Learning to trust, M/M, Minor Violence, Nines whump, POV Alternating, Past Brainwashing, Short little scene with Gavin/Connor because I love them, partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 13:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushembra/pseuds/mushembra
Summary: Gavin thought the little incident back in the car on his first case with his new partner would be the start of Nines opening up, seeing that the detective could be trusted to treat him more than just some hunk of junk. But since then he's shut down, keeping a professional demeanor up at all times. He tries to not let it get the best of him, but it all comes to a head on their first dangerous assignment together.Maybe this wasn't going to work out like he'd hoped Or maybe there was something more to his behavior after all





	V_File 01: Self-Preservation

_Pain ripping through its torso. A splatter of blue that coated everything in front of it. Pain. Pain that shouldn’t be possible and made no sense, had no meaning for a being such as itself. It looked down to see the exit hole that tore through it's chest, turned to look at his ‘partner’ in this simulation. He was met with the face of a scientist, and an expression that was equal parts neutral and scolding_

_“Self-preservation isn’t optimal.”_

_Another scientist steps over. Same face. Blank. Sterile, like the rest of this place, with the tiniest hint of disgust._

_“Putting trust in a partner, especially a human partner, isn’t efficient or reliable.”_

_“You were created to be a one man investigative team. You must have your wits about you in all directions at all times. To rely on a partner to have your back is a weakness that you must expunge from your coding. You can’t afford to trust, and you can’t afford weakness.”_

_“We need to work out these bugs before the rollout.”_

_“Yes, I know. RK900 will be ready. Trust me…”_

\------------------------ 

Gavin just didn’t understand. Or maybe part of him did. Didn’t make this whole situation any less aggravating. Its been a week since he was assigned his new partner, Nines. A week since the little incident on their way to their first case. It was promising to see there were emotions in that thick head of his after all, but after his spectacular little slip up, the android redoubled his efforts to keep up his appearance as the perfect little detective. He was formal, distant, didn’t engage in small talk. Hell, the detective couldn’t even get him to crack even the tiniest of smiles! Like what the fuck, his jokes were funny damn it! Ok, maybe Connor was about the only one who thought he was actually funny, but it wouldn't hurt for his partner to just humor him.

Gavin thought maybe it was something he had done, but hell, even Connor tried to bridge the gap to welcome the newest addition to the DPD, and he was met with the same sort of thing. Nines wouldn’t even interface with him, which he supposed was a bigger damn blow to the face then just having a simple hello cold-shouldered. He had to commend his boyfriend for trying, at least. Everyone else in the DPD has taken to alienating him. Probably had something to do with how he looked. So large and imposing. CyberLife made it pretty fucking obvious what he was made for, no niceties installed. And that’s where the detective got to thinking. That might be a start right there for explaining his partner’s behavior. If he was programmed or even trained to be a certain way, it could be interfering with his ability to integrate. Fuck he was getting nowhere. What was the answer here?

“I can see smoke coming out of your ears.”

Gavin chuckled softly to himself, the feeling of cool hands smoothing over his bare shoulders before they started to work expertly at his neck. He hadn’t realized how stiff he’d gotten, sitting hunched here at his dining room table. Hell, he’s barely touched his breakfast, buried so deep in his thoughts and worrying over his partner. There was just something else there. Something else he just couldn’t even fathom with those smooth and tender hands drawing the tension from his body. He couldn’t even keep a little moan from escaping his lips, head tilting forward, delighting in the attention. It took many long months for the detective to break the habit of shying away from such touches. Years of abuse and cruel hands made him feel undeserving of all of this kindness. He must have deserved the punishment for some reason. Now (at least most days) he can enjoy this softness with sadness or lack of self-worth to deserve it gnawing away at his psyche. And when it came from Connor, nothing was expected back. It was relieving, not having to meet unrealistic expectations.

“Love, what has you thinking so hard so early in the morning? You haven’t even had your coffee yet and we both know your capability to think coherently is drastically decreased when you’re still fighting to wake up.”

“…did you just call me stupid in the most fucking round-about way?”

“Would never dream of it, Gav.”

Gavin supposed he could forgive Connor, especially with the tender kiss placed at the side of his neck. Oh that fucking little tease. He knows how damn sensitive the skin at his neck is, and they didn't have the time to sneak anything in before work. Little bastard.

“Now, what has you so bothered?”

“Its Nines…”

The detective ran a hand through his hair, scooting back in his chair enough to give Connor room to take a seat in his lap. A much better substitute for Rufus. Don’t get him wrong he loved his little stuffed friend, but you can’t beat someone alive who can embrace you back. The two held each other close, Gavin rubbing small circles into the small of the android’s back, Connor running his fingers through the detective’s hair to soothe him. Contact like this made voicing his worries much easier. Since when did he get so comfortable with this whole talking things out bullshit?

“I don’t know what to do. I know there’s someone in that big ol’ fucking brain of his, but he’s just putting these walls up around him, like he’s, I dunno, scared or something. I mean in the car a week ago, the first emotion I ever saw on his face was just fucking anxiety and fear and…I mean what the hell happened to him in those labs, huh? What in the hell had to happen to make _Mr. Terminator_ scared? Dude looks like he can eat fucking nails for breakfast!”

The reality the detective was trying to piece together vs. what the perceived reality was on his first impression was damn near black and white. Connor had told Gavin where Nines had been kept. In a research laboratory below the storage warehouse of CyberLife Tower. It was likely where he was made, perfected, molded into the android he was now. His boyfriend had made it clear that although he likely went through the same sort of testing process as his successor model, none of it was in his memory banks. It was wiped when all testing and vetting had been completed prior to his first launch into the field. It was safe to assume the same was done for Nines, and yet his behavior was starting to tell a different story, painting a picture that Gavin didn’t like one fucking bit. What other experiences did he have to account for that core deep fear?

“I just wish I knew how to fucking get to him. Get through that damn wall he’s put around himself. It just reminds me so much of…”

“Yourself?”

Gavin cringed, nodding slowly before pressing his face into the crook of Connor’s neck. Nines reminded him so much of himself not but a little over a year ago. Angry at the world, lashing out at everyone around him, using that anger to keep anyone who dared to get close away. But that wasn’t life. There is no life worth living when you’re so bitter, so alone, living each day just waiting to die. It wasn’t until he finally allowed those walls to fall away that he found what beauties life could gift him. It was the same wish he had for Nines, for the android to learn that there was more to life than being the perfect detective. So much more, if only he would allow it.

“Be patient with him, Gavin. We don’t know what he’s had to experience before coming to the DPD. With time, we can help him see. Just give it time.”

“I know, I know, Rome wasn’t built in a day or whatever…”

“Yes, yes, or whatever as you put it. Now come on, time to get ready.”

"Yeah, yeah, I’m goin’…”

With a tender kiss to Connor’s lips, the two rose to their feet to get ready for another oh so lovely day working with Detroit’s finest.

\--------------------------

Two weeks with Nines as his new partner saw the android and Gavin on their first dangerous assignment together. Capture and arrest. Its taken a week to nail down the perp responsible for the latest string of heinous acts plaguing Detroit's dangerous streets. Some serial android killer, a poor homeless soul who has suffered not because of androids, but because of the greed of CyberLife and corporations, and the government who has failed to protect it's people. But of course people like him are too desperate, too deep in the throws of their destitution to see the bigger picture. He’d hate to kick a man while he’s so down but the law is the law, and he’s hurt a lot of people. There was no excuse for that, no matter the circumstances that brought people to their bad decisions.

Gavin adjusted his bulletproof vest, making sure his service weapon was at the ready on his belt. He didn’t want to use it, always avoided it when he could, but he would if innocent lives were put into danger if the fucker decided to make a run for it. He noted that Nines had decided against one, claiming his chassis was constructed to withstand gunfire. Sounded like a lie, but fuck if he knew. His entire chassis could be reinforced with Kevlar for all he knew. But he’d rather the idiot took precautions anyways. Connor did, so why not Nines? A question for another day. Right now it was go time, no time for existential thoughts and all that bullshit.

“Alright, intel told us he was hiding out in this house. Two exits; front door and back door. We have patrols stationed outside of the front door in case he slips away from us. You and me are going in the back. Get in, arrest him, easy day. Got it?”

“I have all of my processing power focused on monitoring my surroundings. He won’t evade my detection, of that I can assure you.”

“Right. Well I’ll keep my ears peeled, too. I'll take the lead since this is your first pursuit and arrest--”

“No need. For your safety you should take the rear and allow me to advance forward.”

Gavin frowned, eyebrow twitching minutely at his partner’s sudden insistence on taking the lead. Ok sure, maybe he was made for this, but he’s still a rookie. He doesn’t know how to work as a team, has never worked with a partner before as far as he was aware. He needed someone who could lead him through the ins and outs of actually being a part of the department and how these sorts of operations work. Yet he seemed so fucking dead set on proving his capabilities as the perfect detective and little else. He was trying to be understanding, but fuck this was frustrating.

“Nines, we need to work together. We’re partners, not individuals—”

“We should proceed, detective.”

Nines didn’t allow him an opening to speak after that. The android moved forward towards the house, and Gavin had little choice but to follow after him. The house was dark, musty, abandoned for some time. Probably because it was in an area of the city where people just couldn’t afford mortgage payments anymore, and those who could wouldn’t want to live in such a run down neighborhood. A perfect little hide away for those who needed somewhere to lay low. And plenty of places to fucking hide there were. A two story house like this, with plenty of rooms and closets and a perp on the edge? Yeah, real danger territory they were walking into.

Gavin kept his eyes peeled, keeping the rear cleared. As if he needed to. Nines’ head swiveled this way and that, keeping an eye on the forward and the rear all at once. As if he really just didn’t trust the detective to do his job. Oh that was just great, way to make him feel like a part of the team. It was honest to god starting to grate on his fucking nerves the way the android was making it so fucking obvious that he’d rather be in here doing this himself, like Gavin hasn’t done this sort of thing before, like he was just so inadequate. Fucking prick!

There was a sudden creaking above their heads, both Nines and Gavin looking up suddenly at the sound. There were a few windows upstairs he could escape from safely, which meant it was now or never. As quickly and quietly as they could, the duo made their way upstairs, the sounds from their perp growing more hurried and frantic before ceasing altogether. No alerts from the officers outside, so he must have hidden somewhere. Which made this situation worlds more dangerous. Great, now he’s cornered and knows it. A man without anything to lose. Makes him more unpredictable, more volatile. And if he has a weapon…

“Detective, I want you to remain downstairs—”

“Fuck, no, Nines! Not gonna happen! That’s not what partners do!”

“Detective, I am in far less threat of coming to harm. I can easily handle this myself. You’ll only—”

“Only what? Why don’t you fucking say it!”

“Be a hinderance.”

Those words. Those three words were like a punch to the gut. It left Gavin reeling, all of those insecurities raising their ugly little heads all over again. Of course. Nines didn’t think he could handle it. Investigating, sure, he seemed to humor the detective and his input. There wasn't any risk, no danger. But when it came to the more strenuous work, he was no good. Just some human who could never match his perfection. He couldn’t help the tears of frustration burning in his eyes as he grit his teeth. He was not about to fucking do this, not now. Not in front of him.

“You know what, fine. You fucking go ahead and do you.”

Gavin turned his back, giving Nines one last look before removing him to a different room, not even giving a thought to just what that look on the android's face could mean.

\----------------------------

**It was better this way. It was always better to go it alone. Humans were flawed. Humans made mistakes. Nines could have his own back better than Gavin ever could, and that was a fact. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself over and over again as a sinking weight settled heavy in his belly. It was better he do this alone, even if everything within him wished to beg the man to stay. What made him believe searching out for a suspect alone was a good idea? He wasn't sure, though a cold little whisper, a not so far off memory loop could have something to do with it.**

** _Trust in another is the greatest weakness to self-preservation._**

**Nines shook his head, advancing slowly up the stairs before carefully advancing down the second floor hallway. It was too quiet, and yet far too loud. His audio receptors were picking up everything around him in the stifling silence. The way the old wood creaked in the evening wind. The sound of crickets chirping outside. His own footsteps, thirium pump, heat regulating apparatus overworking and making his breaths come in and out in short little heaves. It was too much, he couldn’t sort it all out. He couldn’t even pick out the obvious foot falls of his intended target creeping up behind him, until it was too late.**

**Nines felt the crack of a blunt object slamming against the back of his head before he even saw the man, a man with drug crazed eyes and an unkempt appearance, staring down at him with wicked intent. It seems the predator has become the prey. Funny how things worked out like that.**

**“Looking for me, hm? Well, ya found me you fucking piece of plastic.”**

**Nines reached for his service gun, but in the short tumble he took it slipped out of it’s holster and skidded across the floor away from him. That was quite unfortunate. The man’s foot came down on his hand, and for all of the android’s advanced technology, it was thwarted by a simple blow to the head, setting everything off kilter. A cascade of errors alerted him to gyroscope and servo connectivity malfunctions, and the little timer telling him it would take some time for them to correct was almost amusing. What did it mean to be CyberLife’s greatest technological achievement if one man could best him so easily? What a failure.**

**“You fucking human imitations ruined everything, destroyed _everything_. Sure, maybe you won your little freedoms and the government recognizes you as people now, but there will always be people like me who know the truth. And you? Get to feel it personally!”**

**Fitting it should end this way. The final failure of CyberLife. All Nines could do is close his eyes, bracing for the final blow that would knock him offline. The only thing he had left to hang onto in his final moments was this all consuming fear of what could have been, and now what would never be.**

**“Drop the shovel, now!”**

**Nines took in a shuddering breath, letting his eyes flit open once more before his vision fell upon one Gavin Reed, face set with cold determination, service weapon drawn and trained on the man standing above him. It seemed to take a moment for him to register the gun trained on him, but when he did, their perp dropped his weapon (a simple garden shovel as it turns out), hands rising shakily in the air in surrender. Not such a hardened felon after all.**

**“L-Look man, don’t shoot! Fuck, please, just…”**

**“Yeah, yeah, that’s what I thought. Hands behind your back you piece of shit.”**

**Nines managed to sit himself upright while Gavin arrested their suspect, the room spinning a bit in the effort. It would take a while for his systems to recalibrate and re-center themselves, but the end result of this fiasco could have been far worse considering. Considering he’d made the decision to come up here alone, considering he hadn’t accounted for his own faults or the fact he’s been convincing himself for the last two weeks he wasn’t struggling with life and his deviancy. For all of CyberLife’s testing, all they’d done to ensure he’d be the perfect detective, nothing could have accounted for the one thing they believed would be a 100% impossibility; Nines becoming deviant.**

**Deviant. Imperfect. A mess.**

**"…es? …ines? Nines! Hey, look at me!”**

**Nines’ snapped his attention to the detective now kneeled in front of him, that concern on his face that the android didn’t deserve. And yet something in him yearned for it, along with the hand now touching gingerly at the back of his head. He could feel a wetness trickling down his neck. Likely a minor crack in his chassis from the blow. Having a bulletproof chassis did little to protect against blunt objects that could crack it along the panel seams. The android found himself leaning his head against the touch, Gavin’s hand now moving to cup him at the back of the neck. Soft, gentle, kind. So foreign and yet not unwanted.**

**“You ok, there? Took quite the blow, huh?”**

**“Yes, I…he managed to get behind me without my knowledge.”**

**Nines could see the way Gavin’s expression was set in disapproval, and yet that concern was still there, giving his features a certain softness that made the android want to trust him.**

**“This is why we go in together, Nines. Why were you so fucking stubborn?”**

**“It wasn’t stubbornness it…it was…”**

**What was it? What word could Nines put to this ingrained way of thinking he had drilled into his head all the way back to his first memories? It was hard to describe, but he knew that’s where the hesitance came from. Because that’s what he was trained to do. Trained to work solo because it would be more efficient than the alternative. But that was under the condition that he was a machine, unfeeling, focused solely on his work without the complication of emotions being thrown in the equation. As he is now, however, working alone wasn’t going to be a viable option.**

**"It was how I was trained. I was put through rigorous tests to ensure I functioned as efficiently as possible. Self-preservation was an important little lesson, and I was taught many times over that a partner was not to be trusted. There are many reasons. They'll either leave you behind due to distraction, force you to do all the work only to steal the credit for their own, or allow you to come to harm. I was taught that humans are especially susceptible to making bad partners, and that I'd work best if I worked alone. That being said I was...never meant to deviate. Never meant to fall prey to the very same weaknesses that plague humans. Trust is the most profound of all weaknesses, because it leaves you open to allow others to hurt you."**

**Nines bit down on his tongue, feeling quite surprised at himself for unloading on Gavin like that. He didn't know where it came from or what purpose it served. And yet the weight he felt so heavy on his shoulders seemed to unwind, as did the tension he'd been holding within himself. And that soft look on Gavin's face, so gentle and sad. What was this new ache in his chest?**

**"Oh Nines...fuck man...look..."**

**Nines watched Gavin carefully as he sat down next to him, the detective sitting close enough for their shoulders to touch. Even that smallest bit of physical contact was enough to make him feel warm. It felt good, and he found himself wanting more of it. Want, what a strange concept.**

**"Yeah, trusting people can be dangerous, and fucking terrifying if I'm being honest. I didn't trust anyone for years. And you know where it got me? Coulda lost my job, my home. Fucking every little thing I was trying to hold onto to make life worth living. But trusting people, letting them in--the good ones--I can't even begin to describe how much better its made things for me. Its not easy, and if you have it as stuck in your head not to trust as it was in mine it might take a while to unravel all that bullshit but. I'm not going to leave you hanging. Never again. Shouldn't have done it in the first place but I let myself get too hot headed for a minute. So, yeah...sorry about that."**

**Learn how to trust? Could he do that with those little voices telling him it went against his need for self-preservation? Maybe it wasn't about what he's learned, what he was told he was supposed to do. Maybe this needed to be about what he _wanted _to do. And sitting here with a partner Nines had a feeling wouldn't let him down to the best of his ability, the decision of what he wanted was the simplest one he's made since joining the department.**


End file.
